Fun with Names

In the history of sports, there have been a lot of names that possess obvious comedic virtue. Baseball has continually been at the forefront of this movement, with legends ranging from ace pitchers Dick Pole and Gaylord Perry to big boppers Rusty Kuntz

and Albert Pujols. These men, among a host of others, have brought joy to our lives not only through their tremendous skills on the field, but also because of the endless array of sophomoric jokes they've allowed us to make at their expense. However, one doesn't have to have the mind of a thirteen year-old boy to enjoy some of the interesting names that the sports world has to offer. If nothing else, the sports universe is a diverse one, and I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge some of our foreign counterparts in this etymological study.

The cliché "lost in translation" could not be more incorrect for many athletes' names; indeed, there is quite a lot to be gained from taking an athlete's name and converting it from his native language (Spanish and French are the most common) into clean, smooth, American English. Somewhere in this odd mixing of languages, we come out on the other side with some very bizarre combinations that make little sense whatsoever. Interestingly, some of the best names range across all sports; while baseball is, of course, a mainstay in providing great surnames, football of both types, surprisingly, contribute several top-notch and downright weird names as well. Without further ado, an informal and incomplete list thrown together in one brief afternoon:

--Jose Mesa (Retired pitcher, baseball): "Joe Table"
--Pedro Feliz (3B, St. Louis Cardinals): "Peter Happy"

--Pierre Garçon (WR, Indianapolis Colts): "Peter Waiter"
--Humberto Quintero (C, Houston Astros): "Hubert Farmer"
--Carlos Pavón (ST, formerly of the LA Galaxy): "Carl Peacock"
--Anthony Herrera (G, Minnesota Vikings): "Tony Blacksmith"
--Jose Calderón (PG, Toronto Raptors): "Joe Copper Kettle"

Feel free to comment below with others that I may have omitted in my hasty research.